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Healing your grieving heart after a military death : 100 practical ideas for families and friends Cover Image Book

Healing your grieving heart after a military death : 100 practical ideas for families and friends / Bonnie Carroll ; Alan D. Wolfelt, pH.D.

100 practical ideas for families and friends (portion title)
One hundred practival ideas for families and friends (portion title)
Carroll, B. (Bonnie), (author.). Wolfelt, Alan, (author.).

Summary:

"This guide acknowledges the unique mixture of sadness, pride, anger, and guilt that often characterizes grief after a military death, including in the event of a military suicide, and offers ideas for constructively expressing thoughts and feelings. Special mention is made of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) and the resources it makes available to military loss survivors. Anyone whose life has been touched by a military death will find compassionate understanding and healing guidance in the pages of this handbook" -- Back cover.

Record details

  • ISBN: 1617222348
  • ISBN: 9781617222344
  • Physical Description: 114 pages ; 22 cm
  • Publisher: Fort Collins, CO : Companion Press, [2015]

Content descriptions

Formatted Contents Note:
Introduction. Grieving a military death - Suicide in the military - About TAPS - How to use this book -- Bonnie's story -- 100 ideas. Understand what it means to be "traumatized" - First, seek safety and comfort - Be aware of post-traumatic stress - Understand the difference between grief and mourning - Be aware that grief affects your body, mind, heart, social self, and spirit - Understand that grief following a traumatic death is particularly difficult - Allow for numbness - Conside yourself in "emotional intensive care" - Understand the six needs of mourning. Need 1: acknowledge the reality of the death - Understand the six needs of mourning. Need 2: embrace the pain of loss - Understand the six needs of mourning. Need 3:Remember the person who died - Understand the six needs of mourning. Need 4: Develop a new identity - Understand the six needs of mourning. Need 5: search for meaning - Understand the six needs of mourning. Need 6: receive ongoing support from others - Know that grief does not proceed in orderly, predictable 'stages' - Don't expect yourself to mourn or heal in a certain way or in a certain time - Take good care of yourself - If you saw the body and its injuries, give yourself time to conjure up happier memories - If you weren't able to see the body, find other ways to acknowledge the reality of the death - Use language that empowers you - Ignore hurtful comments - Reach out and touch - Keep a journal - Let go of destructive misconceptions about grief and mourning - If you are a fellow service member, get extra support - Embrace your need and right to grieve and mourn - Believe in the power of story - If this death has put your family in the media spotlight, appoint someone to handle media inquiries - Keep in mind the rules of thirds - Be honest with the children who mourn - If you are grieving what will never be, share these thoughts and feelings - Know that you are loved - Express your spirituality - Identify three people you can turn to anytime you need a friend - Reset your clock - Lean on - and beware of - your resilience - Use the name of person who died - Turn to your family - Turn to social media to help you mourn - Organize a memory book - Embrace the image of the eagle - If you feel angry, find appropriate ways to express your anger - If you feel guilty or regretful, find ways to express it - If you feel stuck, find ways to get unstuck - Know that it's OK not to forgive - Breathe - Work through financial stresses - Write a letter - Deal with personal effects in your own time - Share your dreams about the person who died - Pray - Don't stress about thank-you notes - Visit the cemetery - Wear your story - Examine old hurts - Gather new memories of the person who died - Befriend eight universal healing principles - Be aware of "grief overload" - Establish a memorial for the person who died - Be the hero - Cry - Visit the great outdoors - Take a healing field trip - Remember others who had a special relationship with the person who died - Laugh - Be aware of how military people and places affect you - Be a civvy - Discover resources available to surviving military families - Prepare yourself for the holidays - Create a sanctuary just for you - Find a grief "buddy" - Don't be caught off guard by "griefbursts" - Volunteer - Spend time in "thin places" - Accept that there may be no answers - Watch the sun rise - Look for the surprises and gifts in your day - Look into support groups - Create a shadow box - Say no - Watch for warning signs - Release any ambivalence or regrets you may have about the funeral and burial - Seek support on anniversaries - Schedule something that gives you pleasure each and every day - Capture your loved one's story - Talk to a counselor - Take a mini-vacation - Pay attention to synchronicities - Think positive - Give yourself a push - Draw a "grief map" - Live for both of you - Express your gratitude - Believe in your capacity to heal - Seek your higher self - Teach others about grief and mourning - Imagine your reunion with the person who died - Understand the concept of "reconciliation" - Choose to live - Strive to grow through grief -- A final word from Bonnie -- A final word from Alan -- Resources.

Search for related items by subject

Subject:
Bereavement.
Families of military personnel > Counseling of > United States.
Families of military personnel > United States.
Grief.
Loss (Psychology)

Available copies

  • 1 of 1 copy available at NC Cardinal. (Show)
  • 1 of 1 copy available at Onslow County Public Library.

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Location Call Number / Copy Notes Barcode Shelving Location Status Due Date
Jacksonville Main Library MFR 155.937 CAR (Text) 36015000377792 Military Family Resources Available -

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MARC Record

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24510. ‡aHealing your grieving heart after a military death : ‡b100 practical ideas for families and friends / ‡cBonnie Carroll ; Alan D. Wolfelt, pH.D.
24630. ‡a100 practical ideas for families and friends
24630. ‡aOne hundred practival ideas for families and friends
264 1. ‡aFort Collins, CO : ‡bCompanion Press, ‡c[2015]
264 4. ‡c©2015
300 . ‡a114 pages ; ‡c22 cm
336 . ‡atext ‡btxt ‡2rdacontent
337 . ‡aunmediated ‡bn ‡2rdamedia
338 . ‡avolume ‡bnc ‡2rdacarrier
50500. ‡tIntroduction. ‡tGrieving a military death - ‡tSuicide in the military - ‡tAbout TAPS - ‡tHow to use this book -- ‡tBonnie's story -- ‡t100 ideas. ‡tUnderstand what it means to be "traumatized" - ‡tFirst, seek safety and comfort - ‡tBe aware of post-traumatic stress - ‡tUnderstand the difference between grief and mourning - ‡tBe aware that grief affects your body, mind, heart, social self, and spirit - ‡tUnderstand that grief following a traumatic death is particularly difficult - ‡tAllow for numbness - ‡tConside yourself in "emotional intensive care" - ‡tUnderstand the six needs of mourning. ‡tNeed 1: acknowledge the reality of the death - ‡tUnderstand the six needs of mourning. ‡tNeed 2: embrace the pain of loss - ‡tUnderstand the six needs of mourning. ‡tNeed 3:Remember the person who died - ‡tUnderstand the six needs of mourning. ‡tNeed 4: Develop a new identity - ‡tUnderstand the six needs of mourning. ‡tNeed 5: search for meaning - ‡tUnderstand the six needs of mourning. ‡tNeed 6: receive ongoing support from others - ‡tKnow that grief does not proceed in orderly, predictable 'stages' - ‡tDon't expect yourself to mourn or heal in a certain way or in a certain time - ‡tTake good care of yourself - ‡tIf you saw the body and its injuries, give yourself time to conjure up happier memories - ‡tIf you weren't able to see the body, find other ways to acknowledge the reality of the death - ‡tUse language that empowers you - ‡tIgnore hurtful comments - ‡tReach out and touch - ‡tKeep a journal - ‡tLet go of destructive misconceptions about grief and mourning - ‡tIf you are a fellow service member, get extra support - ‡tEmbrace your need and right to grieve and mourn - ‡tBelieve in the power of story - ‡tIf this death has put your family in the media spotlight, appoint someone to handle media inquiries - ‡tKeep in mind the rules of thirds - ‡tBe honest with the children who mourn - ‡tIf you are grieving what will never be, share these thoughts and feelings - ‡tKnow that you are loved - ‡tExpress your spirituality - ‡tIdentify three people you can turn to anytime you need a friend - ‡tReset your clock - ‡tLean on - and beware of - your resilience - ‡tUse the name of person who died - ‡tTurn to your family - ‡tTurn to social media to help you mourn - ‡tOrganize a memory book - ‡tEmbrace the image of the eagle - ‡tIf you feel angry, find appropriate ways to express your anger - ‡tIf you feel guilty or regretful, find ways to express it - ‡tIf you feel stuck, find ways to get unstuck - ‡tKnow that it's OK not to forgive - ‡tBreathe - ‡tWork through financial stresses - ‡tWrite a letter - ‡tDeal with personal effects in your own time - ‡tShare your dreams about the person who died - ‡tPray - ‡tDon't stress about thank-you notes - ‡tVisit the cemetery - ‡tWear your story - ‡tExamine old hurts - ‡tGather new memories of the person who died - ‡tBefriend eight universal healing principles - ‡tBe aware of "grief overload" - ‡tEstablish a memorial for the person who died - ‡tBe the hero - ‡tCry - ‡tVisit the great outdoors - ‡tTake a healing field trip - ‡tRemember others who had a special relationship with the person who died - ‡tLaugh - ‡tBe aware of how military people and places affect you - ‡tBe a civvy - ‡tDiscover resources available to surviving military families - ‡tPrepare yourself for the holidays - ‡tCreate a sanctuary just for you - ‡tFind a grief "buddy" - ‡tDon't be caught off guard by "griefbursts" - ‡tVolunteer - ‡tSpend time in "thin places" - ‡tAccept that there may be no answers - ‡tWatch the sun rise - ‡tLook for the surprises and gifts in your day - ‡tLook into support groups - ‡tCreate a shadow box - ‡tSay no - ‡tWatch for warning signs - ‡tRelease any ambivalence or regrets you may have about the funeral and burial - ‡tSeek support on anniversaries - ‡tSchedule something that gives you pleasure each and every day - ‡tCapture your loved one's story - ‡tTalk to a counselor - ‡tTake a mini-vacation - ‡tPay attention to synchronicities - ‡tThink positive - ‡tGive yourself a push - ‡tDraw a "grief map" - ‡tLive for both of you - ‡tExpress your gratitude - ‡tBelieve in your capacity to heal - ‡tSeek your higher self - ‡tTeach others about grief and mourning - ‡tImagine your reunion with the person who died - ‡tUnderstand the concept of "reconciliation" - ‡tChoose to live - ‡tStrive to grow through grief -- ‡tA final word from Bonnie -- ‡tA final word from Alan -- ‡tResources.
520 . ‡a"This guide acknowledges the unique mixture of sadness, pride, anger, and guilt that often characterizes grief after a military death, including in the event of a military suicide, and offers ideas for constructively expressing thoughts and feelings. Special mention is made of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) and the resources it makes available to military loss survivors. Anyone whose life has been touched by a military death will find compassionate understanding and healing guidance in the pages of this handbook" -- Back cover.
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650 0. ‡aFamilies of military personnel ‡xCounseling of ‡zUnited States.
650 0. ‡aFamilies of military personnel ‡zUnited States. ‡0(CARDINAL)291271
650 0. ‡aGrief. ‡0(CARDINAL)240580
650 0. ‡aLoss (Psychology) ‡0(CARDINAL)244825
7001 . ‡aWolfelt, Alan, ‡eauthor. ‡0(CARDINAL)727521
902 . ‡aMARCIVE 202012
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